dirtypiratewhores.com – Yeah for Schadenfreude! (In Your Face Since 2007!)

2007 and 2006 Canadian Filmmakers Fest Posters

i have been away from the briancox for WAAAYY too long
i cannot BEElieve that while the strangest fucking shit was happening to me
it was happening to all my closest friends too
and i don’t mean you
you, who are reading this blog are my second closest friends

anyhoo

here comes the longest entry ever
to make up for lost time
and bump goldfarb’s ass off the whole page

yeah. that’s right. you heard me, so-called-goldfarb
if that is even really your name (i know it is)
we’re fighting…
oh yeah? come over here and say that. drink it out like a man.
you are going down this long weekend. down down beeyatch.
(call me!)

ANY WINEHOUSE SPASTASTIC VOYAGE

Yesterday, as the 24-year-old star was discharged from London’s University College Hospital, her father Mitch, 54, said: ‘Amy had a bad reaction to some medication.
‘She took two doses instead of one by mistake.’

He denied that his daughter had taken a deliberate drug overdose.
Here, one journalist who was invited to the singer’s Camden flat, tells how she witnessed at first-hand the shambolic squalor in which she exists…

CLICK HERE FOR THE WHOLE STORY

SHIA LADOUCHE CRASHES CAR (NO DEER HURT)

“He stayed until the band was done and then stumbled out of the club by himself,” the witness reported. LaBeouf’s Transformers co-star Isabel Lucas, 23, was a passenger in his truck when the accident occurred, a second source tells Us.

Meanwhile, the 22-year-old actor’s mom told Us this afternoon when reached by a reporter: “He is doing really well… Thank you so much for asking.”

Shia was arrested for drunk driving after a crash in Hollywood early Sunday morning.

CLICK HERE FOR THE FULL STORY

UPDATE: IT WASN’T HIS FAULT. CLICK HERE.

WOW. DID I EVEN HAVE TIME TO REPORT THEY WERE DATING? (yes) ROB! CRAZY KATE IS SINGLE AGAIN! WATCH OUT FOR MIDNIGHT DOCK BOOTY CALLS!

By most accounts Kate and Lance moved quickly, having their children meet each other nearly right away, with Kate visiting Lance’s hometown of Austin with her four year-old son, Ryder in mid May. Earlier this month Kate and Lance were seen out having lunch with Kate’s mother, Goldie Hawn. They even had brunch on Father’s Day in NY with their children and Kate’s ex husband,Chris Robinson.

(don’t worry, i am going to dump him soon)

CLICK HERE FOR THE FULL STORY

YEAH! THANK YOU STONERS!

Thirty years after firing up the stoner comedy genre with their first feature, “Up in Smoke,” the duo are reuniting for their first comedy tour in more than 25 years.

CLICK HERE FOR THE FULL STORY

(don’t see dragonwars..read the rest of my blog)

THIS PUSSY DOESN’T LOOK HALF AS BIG AS MY TWO PUSSIES

really? 40 pounds?

Meet Princess Chunk, a 44-pound hunk of feline flesh, a cat so big that she needs a bathtub for a litter box.

OK. SERIOUSLY.

jack white.

ugly dude, or hot chick, or hot dude, or ugly chick?
either way. i am confused.

NEW HARRY POTTER TRAILER

O.K. SERIOUSLY.

hillary swank.

ugly dude, or hot chick, or hot dude, or ugly chick?
either way. i am still confused.

YOU’RE A BUSH. ACT LIKE ONE!

SQUEEEE!!

comic con is for lovers geeks who don’t get any..
(and me)

Kevin Smith Owns Jerk At Comic Con – Watch more free videos
(’wear black and wear layers’ is 5 words..i am quite sure of that)

CLICK HERE FOR MORE

So Astrology is a bunch of fucking horse shit.
you know it and I know it.

But this is some pretty god damn good advice:

Since I seem to be TOTALLY DOMINATING the posts this week on DPW I thought I’d just post AGAIN with some random shit…you know me.

this is possibly the best myspace page I’ve ever seen -> http://profile.myspace.com/hwayman7

I have a good rant all ready to go about myspace…I’ll save it for the weekend.

So I’m in The Chapters today I’m strolling around, browsing, with a book in hand that I intend to actually PAY FOR and read AT HOME like a normal fucking person, not sitting in the MIDDLE of an aisle reading a book while drinking a fucking $40 coffee…and I notice that the section that used to be called ‘Mythology’ (or something) is now called ‘Parapsychology’ if you can fucking believe that, and what might there be in the ‘Parapsychology’ section of my local The Chapters?
Publications on Ganzfeld experiments?
Karl Zener’s highly readable papers?
Perhaps a favorite of mine, Koestler’s Roots of Coincidence?

No.

What you’ll find in the ‘Parapsychology’ section of my local The Chapters is a shit-load of books about Angels.

Yes, Angels.

I hear you saying to yourself “Hey! Cool!”
well I’m sorry to disappoint you…they’re not about the Angels O’ The Lord (who are almost always TERRIFYING – read your bible if you don’t believe me)…no, these books are about the Angels that hang around helping people, whispering nice things in people’s ears…but not cool like Wings of Desire…more like the shitty remake with Nicolas Cage…

Look at this bitch ->
Doreen Virtue (her real name) http://www.angeltherapy.com/

she’s written possibly 85 books about Angels…they are all over the place at The Chapters…next time I’m there I’m going to spread a few around in other sections…like Humor, Sci-Fi/Fantsy and US History.

Doreen Virtue is a spiritual doctor of psychology and a fourth-generation metaphysician who works with the angelic, elemental, and ascended-master realms in her writings and workshops. Doreen is the author of more than 20 books about angels, chakras, Crystal Children, Indigo Children*, health and diet, and other mind-body-spirit issues, including the best-selling Healing with the Angels and Messages from Your Angels books/angel cards.

Healing With Angels you say?
that sounds good…

indeed it does my friends

When Doreen Virtue visited Santorini Island in Greece recently, she was contacted by a powerful group of angels calling themselves the “angels of Atlantis.” Doreen was then taken on an amazing spiritual adventure, where she uncovered the ancient secrets of the healing temples of the lost civilizations of Atlantis. Doreen found that her previous healing work with the angels, as well as the thousands of case studies of angelic healing that she’d amassed over the years, dovetailed perfectly with the messages from the angels of Atlantis.

What I love about this ‘blurb’ as the publishing industry calls it…what I love about this ‘blurb’ that you can find on the amazon page for this fucking book…what I love about this ‘blurb’ (fuck) is that it can be summed up like this:
Bitch is crazy
She has some crazy thoughts
then had some more
and guess what the amazing thing is?
the two sets of bat-shit crazy thoughts that she had “dovetailed perfectly”!!!

well.
fuck.
me.

Some people will say that as long as someone isn’t molesting kids and/or packing folks of a particular persuasion into boxcars and ‘resettling’ them, then they’re pretty much “OK” and we (I) should just leave them the fuck alone.
well fuck that.
this is actually crazy talk…

I could write a book about Angels…and I
a) don’t fucking believe in them
b) think the more interesting Angels are the ones described in the Christian Bible (not the Christian Bale).
c) could probably do it better than this fucking con-artist…Atlantis? are you fucking kidding me?

oh and another thing…
every fucker in this section is a Ph.D…really…our Friend Doreen “holds B.A., M.A., and Ph.D. degrees in counseling psychology”…

and look at this pretty lady : Lilou Mace
she’s crazy!
and really pretty…
I would LOVE to be a fly on the wall (or an Angel ) when she’s on a date…
some guy gazing into the dark pools that are her eyes and.. “er…wait, sorry I didn’t quite get that…did you say…what the fuck are you talking about?”

* Racist.
Oh and here is an interesting article about Indigo Children : LINK

so you remember Hercules?
from, you know, way back in Roman Days™
who is actually Heracles…from wayer back in Greeky Times™?

well fuck you.
the creative geniuses over at Radical Comics have something for you to shove up your ass…

Fourteen hundred years ago, a tormented soul walked the earth that was neither man nor god. Hercules was the powerful son of the god king Zeus, for this he received nothing but suffering his entire life. After twelve arduous labors and the loss of his family, this dark, world-weary soul turned his back on the gods finding his only solace in bloody battle. Over the years he warmed to the company of six similar souls, their only bond being their love of fighting and presence of death. These men and woman never question where they go to fight or why or whom, just how much they will be paid. Now the King of Thrace has hired these mercenaries to train his men to become the greatest army of all time. It is time for this bunch of lost souls to finally have their eyes opened to how far they have fallen when they must train an army to become as ruthless and blood thirsty as their reputation has become.

jezus* wept!…
did you read that?

sound like this?

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

yeah well fuck you.

* Jesus was actually Mithra.

Fallout 3 trailer…

Video games have become multi-billion dollar profit machines in the 21st century. A recent study by the Entertainment Software Association found that $73 million in high definition television sales (HDTV) can be directly attributed to sales of the Xbox 360. The film “Spiderman 2” grossed $115 million dollars at the box office on its opening weekend in 2004. In comparison, the videogame Halo 2 made $120 million dollars on its first day in stores, and Halo 3 pre sold over a million copies before the game was even released. Moreover, with the average “gamer” being 33 years old, it is safe to say that the video game industry is no longer “child’s play”. However, there comes a price with such a rapidly growing industry. Game developers are facing many hurdles to get these games out on the shelves, and quality of life issues for employees have begun to come under fire. 80 hour work weeks, forced overtime with no compensation, and being fired without cause, are just some of the problems being faced by the industry. This breakthrough documentary will take you behind the scenes, to explore the history, production and labor issues at stake in this next generation of entertainment.

Here is a gallery of new Watchmen promotional posters…

click to make big etc…

the second last one is an original promo poster from back in the day – these are what the new ones are based on…
and last but not least is a fan made poster…