dirtypiratewhores.com – Yeah for Schadenfreude! (In Your Face Since 2007!)

i have been able to avoid all things mel-gibson-rantish
(except for THIS..thank you, b!)
well…the latest at least
i was read all up on sugartits-gate

but this is fucken awesome

so whatevs
i read the whole thing
and i just get a bit angry when i do
shut the fuck up, roman
whine whine whine
blah blah blah
your life sucks..
good
because you cannot un-fuck a 13 year old up the ass

click HERE for the fill statement

“Victoria Beckham is so nasty. Why doesn’t she just go home?! Her dresses are beautiful, but I don’t care what she does. She’s mean to all the people around her. She’s too short to be a diva. We all use the same hairdressers, make-up artists, limo-drivers and greeters at the airports in LA and nobody has anything nice to say about her. They say she’s rude. She can’t always just be having a bad day. Victoria Beckham should get a life. I am not a fan of outrageous consumption. I think it is vulgar.

And no-one should flaunt that they have a hundred Hermes bags. Not when people are starving. Everyone should be allowed to have a great time but she shows a distinct lack of class. I dislike Victoria Beckham. The entitlement – the total entitlement. You want to say, ‘Calm down, you were a Spice Girl.’ The arrogance when she walks into a room is astonishing.”

wow
next time joan calls, i am actually going to pick up the phone this time
and invite her to dinner
and bowling
and probably to the cottage for twofour
its takes a real kanye
to publically make an effort
to tell the world that someone else is a cunt
and, yes, for this i want to do jager bombs with her
way to go, joan. way to go.

“Look, if people choose to believe that I’m sitting here in my ivory tower, Howard Hughesing myself with long fingernails and loads of drugs, then I can’t do anything about that, can I?”

“People want to see me as tragic with all the casual sex and drug-taking… those things are not what most people aspire to, and I think it removes people’s envy to see your weaknesses. I don’t even see them as weaknesses any more. It’s just who I am.”

- George Michael

and, for the record, i for one am not one of those people who think he is “tragic with all the casual sex and drug-taking”

i’m sort of more in the “what a sad fucker who was on top of the world and now has sex in the bushes with men in the dark who are 30 years his senior ans is such a narcissist that he still thinks it’s awesome…and he wrote that song about how beautiful it is to be in a relationship with young boys ..what a dick” camp when it comes to george michael, yknow?

and while youtubing “father figure video” i came across this..which is much better actually

side note: i think i just realised that the butch manly model from the ‘father figure’ video has been my subliminal hair cut guide for the past 23 years…

was just reading eminem’s ‘diss’ “song” to mariah carey
he got all ‘bejiggetty’ (thats was the kids are calling it these days)
after mariah (about 3 years ago) denied datefucking him

here is the funny thing
(aside from eminem in general, the song, his lyrics, his gayface, his sameole-sameole haircut, why dr. dre hangs with him, and anything else eminem related)
the first 2/3 of the “song” are all ‘fuck you, fuck you, idle threat, fuck you’
but then this little nugget

Like I’m a sit and fight with you over some sl*t bitch c**t who made me put up with her psycho ass over 6 months and only spread her legs to let me hit once

Yeah, what you gonna say? I’m lucky? Tell the public that I was so ugly that you f***ing had to be drunk to f**k me?
Second base? What the f**k you tell Nick, punk?

In the second week we was dry humping. It’s gotta count for something. Listen, girly. Surely you don’t want me to talk about how I nutted early cuz I ejaculated early and bust all over your belly, and you almost started hurling and said I was gross, go get a towel you’re stomachs curling. Or maybe you do.

eminem is a pussy whipped punk
why does this not surprise me?

here is lovely picture of eminem’s ex wife

russell brand did not ‘act’ at all for role in forgetting sarah marshall
instead just showed up as himself for audition and read some shit out loud

“I did a screen test with Russell before we shot Forgetting Sarah Marshall and I took one look at him and thought, ‘He looks great’. His trousers were tighter than mine and his jewellery was clanking all over the place, but he did his lines and just blew us all away,” Contactmusic quoted Bell, as saying.

However, Bell added that she stopped fancying him, as he seemed to be pretty high maintenance and always poked fun at her. “I had no idea who he was until I Googled him and saw what a little stinker he is with the ladies. He kept reminding us every 10 minutes of how famous he is in Britain by going, ‘It’s so weird not to be recognized here’,” she said.

“He didn’t fancy me at all and in fact went out of his way to tell me how grotesque I was. And I certainly didn’t fancy him because he’s so high-maintenance – he took longer in make-up than I did,” Bell added.

and get me the number of kristin bell’s agent
seriously that dude is selling cardboard
and making good spank at it

lordy gimme the strength
but you know i am judgy
all hidey behind my blog and shit
but this ‘woman’
what a beeyotch

have you ever noticed that every fucking time she opens her mouth
she is only talking about herself?
how the contestants are fucking her over?
how her rep is on the line?
and what the FUCK qualifies her to act as their psychologist?
she is so fucking self righteous
ugh

from her blog..

OK I Have to Say Something…
About last night’s episode. I thought since it’s over, all said and done with, I should just put it behind me…but I can’t help myself. I DID TRAIN FILIPE… AND SIONE! I took them surfing. Taught them to box. Bought them St. Christopher medals. Sent Asics shoes to their wives and kids. In fact, I was so busy trying to make them feel comfortable that I was neglecting the rest of my players for the last three episodes. With that said, one day off camera, Filipe did something that I found very hurtful, and I said to him that I needed the day to cool off. I didn’t do one-on-one training with him for ONE day. My producers didn’t have this conversation on camera so they tried to recreate the scenario by getting Filipe to work out alone in the gym.

love the first three lines “i”, “i” and “i” and SO awesome

whenever i watch the show i cannot help
but see a fat pudgy little 12 year old who no one wanted to date
who’s mom was secretly disappointed because she got her dads genes
and her dad would yell at her to be better
exactly what she is doing to the contestants right now

(what’s that i smell? did you have tequila six weeks ago? you disgust me!)

Kanye West takes the March 2009 cover of Details, on stands February 24. Interview highlights below, some NSFW:

On Kanye ready to pour all his “superhero” energy into conquering fashion: “Put this in the magazine: There’s nothing more to be said about music. I’m the f—ing end-all, be-all of music. I know what I’m doing. I did 808s in three weeks. I got it. It’s on cruise control. . . . Man, we talked about music for God knows how long! Now let’s talk about how my f—ing sweater didn’t come back right from Korea. That’s what’s interesting me.”

On having natural talent as a kid: “First beat I did was in seventh grade, on my computer. I got into doing beats for the video games I used to try to make. My game was very sexual. The main character was, like, a giant penis. It was like Mario Brothers, but the ghosts were, like, vaginas. Mind you, I’m 12 years old, and this is stuff 30-year-olds are programming. You’d have to draw in and program every little step—it literally took me all night to do a step, ’cause the penis, y’know, had little feet and eyes.”

On what makes him so hard-working: “People ask me a lot about my drive. I think it comes from, like, having a sexual addiction at a really young age. Look at the drive that people have to get sex—to dress like this and get a haircut and be in the club in the freezing cold at 3 A.M., the places they go to pick up a girl. If you can focus the energy into something valuable, put that into work ethic.”

On being the voice of the voice of this generation: “If not me, then who? Someone could be a better rapper, dance better. But culturally impacting? When you look back at these four and a half years, who’s the icon at the end of the day? Who broke down color barriers? What other black guy would a white person use as a fashion reference?”

On using “gay” as a compliment: “Titles are very important. I like to embody titles, y’know, or words that have negative connotations, and explain why that’s good,” he says. “Take the word gay—like, in hip-hop, that’s a negative thing, right? But in the past two, three years, all the gay people I’ve encountered have been, like, really, really, extremely dope. Y’know, I haven’t, like, gone to a gay bar, nor do I ever plan to. But where I would talk to a gay person—the conversation would be mostly around, like, art or design—it’d be really dope. From a design standpoint, kids’ll say, ‘Dude, those pants are gay.’ But if it’s, like, good, good, good fashion-level, design-level stuff, where it’s on a higher level than the average commercial design stuff, it’s, like, gay people that do that. I think that should be said as a compliment. Like, ‘Dude, that’s so good it’s almost . . . gay.’”

quick
click the link before bales people take it down
(if they do, here is a transcript)

click HERE to hear christian bale lose his fucken shit

KICK YOUR FUCKING ASS! I WANT YOU OFF THE SET YOU FUCKING PRICK! NO, DON’T JUST BE SORRY! THINK! FOR ONE FUCKING SECOND! WHAT THE FUCK! ARE YOU DOING!?! ARE YOU PROFESSIONAL OR NOT!?! DO I FUCKING WALK AROUND AND RIP TH…NO! SHUT THE FUCK UP, BRUCE! …DO I WA..NO! NNOOO! DON’T SHUT ME UP! AM I GOING TO WALK AROUND AND RIP YOUR FUCKING LIGHTS DOWN!?! IN THE MIDDLE OF A SCENE!?! THEN WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU WALKING RIGHT THROUGH, ADAHDADAHDADAH, LIKE THIS IN THE BACKGROUND!?! WHAT THE FUCK IS IT WITH YOU!?! WHAT!?! DON’T!?! YOU!?! FUCKING!?! UNDERSTAND!?! YOU GOT ANY FUCKING IDEA ABOUT..HEY, IT’S FUCKING DISTRACTING HAVING SOMEBODY WALKING UP BEHIND BRYCE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING SCENE! GIMME A FUCKING ANSWER! WHAT DON’T YOU GET ABOUT IT!?! OOOOHH…GOOOOOOD FOR YOU! AND HOW WAS IT!?! I HOPE IT WAS FUCKING GOOD BECAUSE IT’S USELESS NOW, ISN’T IT!?! FUCK SAKE MAN YOU’RE AMATEUR! LOOK, GEE, YOU GOT FUCKING SOMETHING TO SAY TO THIS PRICK!?! WELL SOMEONE SHOULD BE FUCKING WATCHING HIM! AND KEEPING AN EYE ON HIM! THIS IS THE SECOND TIME THAT HE DOESN’T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT WHAT IS GOING ON IN FRONT OF THE CAMERA! ALRIGHT!?! I’M TRYING TO FUCKING DO A SCENE HERE AND I’M GOING “WHY THE FUCK IS SHANE WALKING IN THERE!?! WHAT IS HE DOING THERE!?!” DO YOU UNDERSTAND MY MIND IS NOT IN THE SCENE IF YOU’RE DOING THAT. STAY OFF THE FUCKING SET, MAN… FOR FUCK SAKE. RIGHT, LET’S GO AGAIN. NO, LET’S NOT TAKE A FUCKING MINUTE! LET’S GO AGAIN!! AND LET’S NOT HAVE YOU FUCKING WALKING IN! Can I have Tom put this on, please? You’re unbelievable, man! You’re un-FUCKING-believable! Number of times you’re strolling a-fucking-round in the background. I’ve never had a D.P. behave like this. AAAAHH, you don’t fucking understand what it’s like working with actors. That’s what that is! THAT’S WHAT THAT IS, MAN, I’M TELLING YOU!! I’M NOT ASKING, I’M TELLING YOU! YOU WOULDN’T HAVE DONE THAT OTHERWISE! I’M GOING TO FUCKING KICK YOUR FUCKING ASS, IF YOU DON’T SHUT UP FOR A SECOND! ALRIGHT!?! I’M GOING TO..YOU WANT ME TO GO AND TRASH YOUR FUCKING LIGHTS!?! DO YOU WANT ME TO FUCKING TRASH ‘EM!!?!! THEN WHY ARE YOU TRASHING MY SCENE!?! YOU ARE TRASHING MY SCENE! YOU DO IT ONE MORE FUCKING TIME AND I AIN’T WALKING ON THIS SET IF YOU’RE STILL HIRED! I’M FUCKING SERIOUS! YOU’RE A NICE GUY, YOU’RE A NICE GUY! BUT THAT DON’T FUCKING CUT IT WHEN YOU ARE BULLSHITTING AND FUCKING AROUND ON SET! YEAH, YOU MIGHT GET IT! BUT HE FUCKING DON’T GET IT! YOU MIGHT! HE!! DOES!! NOT!! GET!! IT!! NO I DON’T NEED ANY FUCKING WALKING! HE NEEDS TO STOP WALKING! I AIN’T THE ONE WALKING! LET’S GET TOM. LET’S PUT THIS BACK ON. LET’S GO AGAIN. SERIOUSLY, MAN YOU AND ME, WE’RE FUCKING DONE PROFESSIONALLY. FUCKING ASS.

(in all fairness, though he is talking about THIS guy)

editor’s note: to the sound guy that recorded this and then sold it to tmz. i know they say you are never going to work in the business again..but you should call me.